My name is Tawnya, not FARANG!

Just when I think that I have everything figured out...well I step outside. As I walked past a group of kids today all I heard them say was farang. It was enough to make me want to just scream...."I have a Name and it is NOT FARANG." The word farang means foreigner and that is what I am to them. The thing is when someone goes to America, even if their English is really bad or no matter if they are wearing a sari, a turban, short shorts, an angel costume. You get the idea, no matter what they look like, no one goes around saying...Look at that foreigner. We just don't talk that way. I wish that I could just laugh it off, but there is something in the way people say things. Maybe it is because of my blonde hair or the way that I look. Sometimes I just want to dye my hair purple...because then that would give everyone a reason to stare. Right now I look like a normal human being. I don't have purple hair, green teeth, or blue skin. I am just a normal person, wanting to live a normal life for Jesus. Maybe that is the thing though, I am supposed to live like foreigner on this earth. Maybe the Lord is just helping me out? No matter what though...I don't fit in I know that, but I am getting pretty tired of the name farang. Come on people!!! You have seen non-asian types before, why do you have to refer to them as farang?

Chiang Mai...

One of my fondest memories of October Break will be Chiang Mai. Almost missing the plane, which I must say was an experience for sure. I can't believe that we were seconds away from not getting on. I have never in my life had that happen. I think though what I learned most about Chiang Mai is that friendships are what you make of them. Amidst the craziness of yet another wedding reception. (okay so I make it sound like there were so many really only 2) I realized about friendships. There are a variety of friendships that I have found myself in the middle of and well it is hard to read each one. I am tossed between them all, but I did have fun...so here are some of the things that I did while in Chiang Mai

*Flora 2006

It was a huge flower garden, with different countries represented. Apparently in 2006 it was a major thing, but now it is open and still beautiful but not as many flowers I guess

*Wedding reception

I have an amazing green dress, which will serve another purpose as my sister's wedding comes up next July. Super exciting though and just a fun experience

*Staying in a thai home

A family that works for habitat for humanity allowed me to stay in their home and it was beautiful def a highlight of the trip. I met their daughter in Singapore at the Eagles Summit Leadership Conference. It was really a lot of fun!

I was able to go and see the palace that is in Chiang Mai. It was really beautiful and fun. Except in the middle of our trip it started raining so we had to wait on the rain for about 15 minutes. Before we decided just to plunge through it. It was a fun day up in the mountains though.

We also went to a few more places: Chiang Mai University, a Lepor colony, the ruins from ancient Chiang Mai times and I even got to do some karyoke.

It was fun and I am glad to be having some thai adventures!

Welcome to the floating market. A place where trading dates back from centuries ago. I went here a couple of weeks ago and will go back at the end of next week. The floating market trip was an experience that is for sure. Their lives are on the water. Everything from traveling from house to house, to selling wares, it is all based on the water. A means of transportation that is so oftentimes taken for granted. As I look at natural waterways I realize that once again our loving creator, made it so easy for us to get around. He put water there. He put it everywhere and gave us the brains and means to build things in order to get around. How amazing is that? As I looked at these people I thought...wow here they are with their whole lives on the water. Do they seem content and happy, maybe. It also occurred to me that what is normal life for them is an attraction to us. Why are floating markets tourist traps? Because it is different. Anything different is deemed as something to be gawked at. I was informed that this particular one was probably set up by the government anyways. I do think that it is amazing. A part of real culture...real people just living the only way they know how.

This is a Thai house, the Thai house where one of the Kings stopped by on a visit. It was at this house that I realized just how much I have learned about Thai culture in a year. Something happened which I do not need to talk about, but just know it wasn't so great. In this incident I believe that I learned a very important lesson. When we are in a new environment we need to be careful about how we act, because it could be perceived by others as something that is not quite right and might even offend. I love Thai ways and in that instance, my defenses went up a great deal. I never realized just how much I knew about culture until the culture was misunderstood and threatened.

Okay...so here I am making sugary something. They use it in som tom if you have ever tried that. I think that this was one of my favorite days, because it was a fun thai day. I got to see real thai people and places and spend time with new people and old. That is what makes life so fun. So here it is....me doing a fun thai job!

starting up this year

My alarm rang at 5:00 this morning. The first thought in my head was what in the world was I thinking. Then I remembered that it was the very first day of staff training and I was pretty excited. After getting ready, I started out on my walk. It seemed to be a normal day. As I pondered what I would find and encounter during the day I looked at the people that I was passing. It seems to me that no matter what time of day you walk down the soi...you always encounter people. Some look happy, but most of them just look meek. That meekness is something that I have pondered over the years. As I said Sawatdeeca to a couple of passing ladies. They smiled and me and tilted their head a little bit. The usual greeting given here. As I pondered over what this might mean, I thought how amazing is it that I get to walk to school and encounter people on a daily basis. Last year I was on campus..living and working. If I didn't want to leave, well I didn't have to. So now more than ever I want to learn Thai. I want to be able to walk down the street and ask someone what their day is like or what they expect from life.

Another vision that I encountered today were monks out for their morning blessings. It is so different for me to imagine giving someone something and expecting a blessing from it. In my mind the Lord is just so much a part of what I know that I could never imagine a human being fitting that role. It does amaze me though, just what I encounter in the morning. Whether it is cheerfulness or just a stare in my direction...there is always a mystery to it that goes beyond my understanding or comprehension.

A new beginning at an old place

For the very first time in my life I am going back to teaching the same grade and subject at the same school. This has never happened to me before. I am pretty excited and scared all at the same time. Tomorrow begins teacher training. I can't believe that am starting year number 2 in Thailand. How blessed I feel to be a part of this experience and a part of life here.

I arrived back in Bangkok on July 20th very late in the evening. After we finally got a taxi, which was an adventure in itself. Because ofcourse the bigger the taxi is the more you have to pay. Since Sandy and I brought like everything with us...well lets just say we had to have a big taxi. I am happy to say that the plane ride wasn't too bad and it was great to have someone with me along the way once again. The Lord has blessed me in that. After arriving in BKK I found it so great to just be back. The language was familiar, the places familiar. It was just like coming home.

Then off I went to Singapore for a little under a week. In Singapore I was going to an Asian Christian Conference. It was simply amazing. Just being with so many Asian christians, but also just coming close to God again. I realized that I had missed close compaiononship with Him. I had been so caught up in being busy this summer that I forgot to just be. I forgot that what He really wants is for us to sit at His feet and just worship Him. Why is it so hard for me to do that? I got to hear so many amazing speakers. I think though what stuck out to me the most was loving others. It is not about me judging others, but just loving them where they are. I may not always think they are making the best decisions, but that is not my job to judge or my job to say you need to do this or that. yes I need to be set apart, but to just lose relationships with people because of what they are doing or not doing...well I don't think that is what Jesus calls me to.

So...Singapore was amazing and so beautiful. I just can't get past what a great experience it was. We walked a lot though. I was able to see the famous lion and also eat some really good food.

I was also able to really breakthrough this emotional place with friends. You see I don't think that you ever realize just what you will do when the world around you speaks another language until you are in fact in that situation. What happened was I was in a country where English is spoken except I was with all Thai people. Well so ofcourse they are speaking Thai. This is not to exclude me at all, but it is because ofcourse what are they comfortable speaking? Thai! So as I was sitting around a table in a chinese restaurant not understanding a word that was being spoken everything just came down on me at once. Here I was not able to understand and all I wanted to do was understand. I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to feel like I belonged. And so...what did I do? Just sat there thinking about all the reasons I shouldn't be going back to Thailand. All the reasons that I was never going to learn Thai and that started a cycle of complete depression. So by the time we went to go take pictures...well lets just say that i was crying. I was just questioning God as to why He would put me in a place where I could not understand anything, with people whom I thought (at the time) didn't really want to be my friends. And so....I just wallowed in self pity. Not understanding that this was God's way of stretching me and growing me.

I am happy to say that I made it through that rough night of uncertainty and have spent the last week excited and getting my classroom ready for this year. I wish that I could say that will be the last time that happens, but it won't. I wish that I could say that I will never feel left out again, but the truth is that with language, well until I am fluent...I will probably feel left out.

So as I get ready to go back to school tomorrow I wonder what this year will bring. How will my students be? What will I be as a teacher. I hope to love them...the way they deserve to be loved.